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How Often Married Couples Have Sex (Per Week By Age) mindbodygreen A quarter of married couples have sex once a week, a third have sex one to three times per month, and nearly a fourth have sex rarely or never.

How Often Do Married Couples Have Sex?

What The Research Tells Us.

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Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist.

She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.

If you're married and not very happy with your sex life at the moment, it's normal to wonder about.

well, what's normal.

Here's what we know about how often married couples have sex, according to research and experts.

But first an important note: A normal sexual frequency is determined by what the couple agrees is mutually satisfying," sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW, tells mbg.

And she adds: "Sexual frequency is not an indicator of sexual satisfaction." Average number of times per week married couples make love.

According to the 2018 General Social Survey's data on about 660 married people who shared details about how often they had sex in the past year: 25 had sex once a week 16 had sex two to three times per week 5 had sex four or more times per week 17 had sex once a month 19 had sex two to three times per month 10 hadn't had sex in the past year 7 had sex about once or twice in the past year.

Other studies have found similar numbers.

A multiyear study of 35,000 British people published in 2019 found about half of people in serious relationships have sex less than once a week.

How often married couples make love, by age.

In 2013, AARP reported that in a study of over 8,000 people over 50 years old conducted by sociologists Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., and James Witte, Ph.D., 31 of couples have sex a few times a week, 28 of couples have sex a few times a month, 8 of couples have sex once a month, and 33 of couples rarely or never have sex.

Among people in their 70s, a 2015 study1.

published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found 33 of sexually active men and 36 of sexually active women had sex at least twice a month.

For people in their 80s, 19 of sexually active men and 32 of sexually active women had sex at least twice a month.

According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found almost 25 of partnered women over age 70 had sex more than four times a week.

"Frequency of sex seems to decrease overall as couples age," Howard says.

Though citing studies on older adults' sex lives like those above, she adds: "Age is just a number!" Lauren Fogel Mersy, PsyD, psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist, adds: "All aspects of our sexuality can change as we age.

Arousal and orgasms might take longer, desire can lower, and sexual frequency can certainly decline, particularly as a relationship matures over years.

Of course, this won't be true for everyone, but it is common." How often married couples should have sex.

There is no ideal number of times every married couple should be having sex.

What each couple needs or wants will vary based on their own personal preferences.

"The frequency that a couple 'should' be sexual is the frequency that they negotiate based on their individual needs and levels of desire.

There is no one size that fits all here," Fogel Mersy says.

"I hesitate to recommend a specific number because it won't fit for a good portion of the population.

When people use a statistic to determine their sexual frequency, it reinforces performative sex, which is when you go through the motions just to check the box." That said, Howard notes that a 2015 study2.

published in Social Psychological and Personality Science journal found couples are happiest when they have sex about once a week.

Their happiness with the relationship decreased when couples had sex less frequently than that, but it didn't increase if they had sex more often than that.

"It seems like the magic number to sustain positive sexual well-being in a relationship is once a week," Howard says.

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