Choice Support Support to date This page covers supporting people with learning disabilities to date, the challenges faced, and how to address them and provide the appropriate support Support to date.
This page covers supporting people with learning disabilities to date, the challenges faced, and how to address them and provide the appropriate support needed.
Supported Loving toolkit.
Click here for Love for life dating agency
Read more resources.
People with a learning disability have rights just like anyone else.
Everyone has the right to a loving relationship and to have opportunities to meet other people.
People should be listened to, they should have the right to be with a partner (if thats what they want), and their voices should be heard so they can make their own choices.
Many people with learning disabilities find themselves isolated and need support to develop friendships and relationships.
With the right support, most people with a learning disability can achieve their dreams whether that is being in a relationship or getting married.
Research shows that the relationship needs of people with a learning disability are rarely given priority ( Taylor and Gomez, 2017 ) and they are more likely to be socially isolated (Sense, 2017).
When it comes to looking for love, we know that many people without a learning disability now use online dating apps, which require users to, 'swipe' on people they like.
Such apps rely heavily on looks, and research is emerging to show the potential negative impact these forms of apps can have on mental health and self-esteem ( Holtzhausen et al, 2020) (McCarthy et al 2020) found people with learning disabilities rarely had positive experiences using such apps.
There are a small, but growing number of specialist dating agencies for people with learning disabilities or additional support needs in England.
Supported Loving has a list.
McCarthy et als research (2020) found people who used these agencies had more positive experiences, in terms of the dates they went on and the additional activities that the dating agencies offered.
They experienced less fear regarding abuse from others and rejection due to their disability.
In 2019, the Care Quality Commission (CQC) published its guidance for social care providers, which formally recognised the need for staff to provide support surrounding relationships and sexuality.
The guidance stated: Some people may have never been in a relationship or have been sexually active.
They may need support and education to enable them to develop and maintain intimate relationships.
Providers should help people to access this support if they cannot do it themselves. What are the most common challenges faced by people in this area?
It can sometimes be difficult for people to date due to their disability: Some people with a learning disability find social interaction difficult, which can make dating challenging and they may need extra support or advice.
Lack of understanding of social rules many people have not received any education regarding what is appropriate in dating and relationships, which can, for example, result in inappropriate and excessive calls or texts.
Some people may have built routines which potentially make meeting new people, and having to adapt their routine, challenging.
Supporting people to manage their expectations - dating agencies commonly get new members expecting to find love with the person of their dreams very quickly, which unfortunately is unlikely.
Mismatches in what different genders want in terms of a sexual relationship women are often fearful of sex, whereas men are often more open in their desire for a sexual relationship.
Restrictions from family, staff or others: Over-protective parents, or support staff who are fearful that the person they support may get hurt or abused.
Anxieties about a family member receiving unwanted friendshipsrelationships, which might include stalking or compulsive behaviour.
Lack of confidence to support people due to embarrassment or lack of training.
Worries about encouraging sexualised behaviour.
Safety concerns raised by staff regarding overnight guests where people live in 24-hour supported accommodation.
Lack of technical knowledge may affect someones ability to support a person to access online workshops, or with people living independently, they may not have any support to travel to workshops.
Due to societalenvironmental challenges: Many people experience isolation.
People have often attended units and special schools so may lack a local peer group.
This can reduce the likelihood of meeting a partner.
People are often in low paid jobs, or have trouble finding work, so will not have a high disposable income to spend on dating and socialising.
Also, they can sometimes be the only person at their workplace with a learning disability or autism, and may struggle to fit in and make friends.
Many people may have missed out on sex education at school, or it was not provided in a way that people understood.