Info for a dating profile — When Online Dating Becomes Something Real

Swipe right if you agree that online dating can feel overwhelming at times.

If youve spent time in the apps, you know the stress over swiping and dating profile curation and thats before youve expended any energy on a match with a real connection.

Even in just a few months, its common to feel discouraged and burnout with online dating.

Theres a myth circulating that dating is just a numbers game: the more dates you go on, the more likely you are to find your perfect match.

Dating apps have certainly benefited from this myth, perpetuating the dream that if you just keep swiping, youll be in a happy relationship in no time.

Dating should be more than just a numbers game and more than just the stress associated with swiping and swiping.

Online dating can be a wonderful opportunity to tell your story and go on dates with people who can genuinely connect with authentic you and the most important things to you.

Your dating profile is the key to telling that engaging story.

Swipe better, not longer.

Before you even sign up for a dating app, knowing the size of the pool youll be swimming in is helpful.

Roughly 30 of U.S.

adults have used a dating site or app.

And although some certainly have negative experiences with dating apps, the majority (57) describe an overall positive or very positive experience.

We want to help you get into that majority.

The key, according to this recent data , is not over-swiping.

Over-swiping can lead to overwhelm with the seemingly unlimited options and can turn into a an almost addictive behavior that appears to boost confidence and hope, but doesnt actually lead to more successful matches and ends with an increase in pessimism.

Another 2019 study connected these same concerns to what they coined as rejection mindset. They explain, When people notice that they are rejecting more and more profiles, their dissatisfaction with the dating pool increases and they become very pessimistic about their chances of finding a partner online. Your profile is the most impactful place to show who you are.

Before you jump head-first into swiping, its helpful to articulate who you are and what you want in a partner.

Your online dating profile is the best place you can do this.

Your profile represents who you are and what youre looking for.

Build a profile that tells a story about the real you, not just the version you think others will like the most.

And lets be clear getting fewer matches is a good thing.

Youre disqualifying people who arent a good fit for you.

This way, youre protecting your time and your heart.

If you think this sounds harder and more vulnerable, it may be.

But it will also get you closer to where you want to be.

Here are our top tips for how to build a dating profile that is engaging, authentic, and made to draw in precisely who youre hoping to attract.

Tell an authentic story about yourself.

As dating coach Lily Womble says in her podcast , The Date Brazen , Just be real.

You are uniquely qualified for the love of your life. App users commonly misrepresent themselves in big and small ways because they dont want to limit their dating pool.

But remember, you are for the few, not the many.

Dont be afraid to show traits and interests unique to you.

This includes your quirky, silly, smart, nerdy, and adventurous parts.

This way, youll find someone you genuinely connect with and who you can be your authentic self.

Identify and embrace your dating desires.

When it comes to fleshing out your dating profile, its helpful to reflect on the kind of person youre looking for, the person you want to attract.

Lily Womble describes these dating desires as essence-based preferences , where your dating checklist (age, height, location, education, career, kids, religion) meets your core values (spiritual, family-oriented, cares about social justice, etc.) and the personality traits you are looking for (compassionate, extroverted, open-minded, and beyond).

Womble explains, This is not to create a snapshot of your perfect person, but to create an impressionist painting. You dont want to get caught up in eliminating potential matches because they dont check off all of your boxes, but you do want to be intentional about who you think youll connect best with.

Reflect deeply on why you have these preferences and how they could enrich your partnership.

Could someone who doesnt fit these checklist items on paper still meet your core desires?

Consider sharing some of your most essential dating desires throughout your profile.

Be positive and creative with your communication.

Being honest and clear about what youre looking for is essential.

This clarity can show up in your dating goals, Im seeking a serious relationship, or your essence-based preferences, Im looking for someone who can connect with my passion for music. Its even more necessary to use positive language when youre describing these things.

Instead of using the brief online dating profile space to state everything you despise about people, dating, or former partners, share the traits you admire and enjoy most and the activities you want to enjoy with your partner.

Also, employ creativity to tell your story and the match youre looking for.

Rather than saying that you love to travel and are looking for someone well-traveled, choose a few photos from a recent trip or share a short story from one of your significant travel experiences.

Choose your photos purposefully.

The photos you include in your profile tell your story.

You want to find images that capture who you are and what youre about.

Include recent photos where youre smiling and showing off your personality and photos that highlight your hobbies, passions, and other important aspects of your life.

If live music, mountain biking, comic books, or Disney is your thing, find a creative way to display it with a photo on your profile.

You only get so many words to use in your profile, so use your photos to augment your story.

While group photos are ok, ensure youre the star of every image on your dating profile, and minimize the number of selfies you use.

If you include selfies, try to include an interesting background that communicates something unique about you.