The brutal truth about being single at 40 and female - Hack Spirit Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love.
After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr.
Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life.
Now that shes settled down and happier than shes ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey.
Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.
The brutal truth about being single at 40 and female.
Having kids and being married isnt the grand be-all-and-end-all: there are other ways of living today.
But are you feeling pressure about your relationship and child status as a single woman at 40?
This is the brutal truth about being a single woman at 40.
1) Yes, there is societal pressure.
Now: some parents and families are worse than others when it comes to piling pressure on their kids about what they want for them.
Unfortunately, many families will continue to probe at their single and childless children for many years wondering when things are going to change.
There is often an expectation that women will eventually seek out these life embellishments and that theyre just experiencing a delayed desire.
If youre a single woman at 40, this might resonate.
Do you find yourself being quizzed on when youll be giving your parents grandkids and when theyll need to buy a new hat for your wedding?
Theyll likely say these things in a light-hearted manner, but you know deep down they mean it.
But heres the thing: By 40, many women are definitive about what they want.
For more and more women, its that there isnt the intention to fill their lives with a partner or an army of children.
I can think of many people like this, who know for a fact they wont budge on this.
Their minds are made up and questions about when theyre getting hitched are infuriating and damn right insulting.
Questions like these suggest there is a lack in a womans life when, truth is, theyre already totally whole.
A man and children arent needed to make a woman whole: a woman is enough just as she is.
Now: while some women who are single might be open to dating and having a partner, having children might be a definite no-no because of their lifestyle.
Their lifestyles could include traveling each month, having high-pressure jobs that require them to work late hours, or they might have incredibly active social lives theyre not willing to give up.
These are all fulfilling ways of living.
Yet society stigmatizes women who are without a partner and a child at 40.
But why is this?
Its limited thinking and ignorance to other ways of being.
Its not thinking for yourself and allowing society to govern what you should do with your life and when.
Dont fall into this trap: instead respect that if a woman has decided to live alone without a partner and children, its very likely theyre doing so happily and they dont have any intentions to change it.
After all, life being single and pressureless is without its complications.
As Nato Lagidze writes for Ideapod, life is as simple as you make it when its on your terms.
She says: You get up, slowly make your breakfast, dress based on your preferences, and plan to spend the rest of the day productively.
Or rest, have fun, and enjoy the benefits of being alone because you dont have any responsibilities. It doesnt sound half bad, does it?
Theres no screaming and demanding kids, and no lazy husband whos driving you up the wall.
Of course there are great bits to having kids and a husband but, lets be honest, this is part of it too.
2) You can focus on your personal growth.
All of this time without kids and a man hanging off of you means you can focus on number one: yourself.
And the good news?
Within that time, you can direct your energy to your personal growth in any way you like.
You can make a point of finding and following your life purpose, rather than concentrating on others life purposes.
Its inevitable the energy is directed away from you when you enter into a partnership with someone or bring little ones into the world.
So how can you work on your personal growth?
Begin with yourself.
Stop searching for external fixes to sort out your life, deep down, you know this isnt working.
And thats because until you look within and unleash your personal power, youll never find the satisfaction and fulfillment youre searching for.
I learned this from the shaman Rudá Iandê.
His life mission is to help people restore balance to their lives and unlock their creativity and potential.
He has an incredible approach that combines ancient shamanic techniques with a modern-day twist.
In his excellent free video, Rudá explains effective methods to achieving whatever you set your intention on.
So if you want to build a better relationship with yourself, unlock your endless potential, and put passion at the heart of everything you do, start now by checking out his genuine advice.
If youre single at 40, youll also have all the time in the world for self-care it doesnt have to be limited to ten minutes a night once a week, but you can take hours for yourself every evening to do things that make you feel good.
This could include: Making art Dancing or exercise classes Taking a long bath and journaling Joining at empowering workshops.
You can literally do what you please, when you want all in the name of making you feel good.
3) Youll have time for your friends.
None of us have the intention of dropping our friends when a guy comes on the scene, but lets be honest: when were in relationships, this person usually becomes our world very quickly.
In my experience, this has always been the case.
In relationships, Im aware I definitely dont call friends up as frequently as I would, my time is given to my lover and it takes away from nurturing friendships.